wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They took my balls.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
