Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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