Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
