Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize