did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize