Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
