we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
