At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
