sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
