I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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