I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
