What did we do last night that was yellow?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
