Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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