What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
