the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
