____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
