she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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