I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
