I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
