first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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