I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
