i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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