Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
