Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
