even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I love having hate sex.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
