you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
