I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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