i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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