We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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