So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
