I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
