Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
