he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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