I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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