"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
