how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
