He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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