i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
