she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
