Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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