These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
