my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
