Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
