So drunk its hurt
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
