Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
this is an emotional support booty call
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
