You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
