Sponge bath it is.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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