My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
