Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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