hotel room ftw
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
