new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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