I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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