I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
