She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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