Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
