hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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